Its about making memories worth repressing
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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