She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
