"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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