I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize