Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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