Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize