Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
