Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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