I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
