i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Randomize
