go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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