I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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