you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
