i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
