That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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