Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
