Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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