She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
