I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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