i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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