yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
FUCK WHALES
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
