if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
