She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize