dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
