My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
