...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
