btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize