So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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