yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
