Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize