If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
