it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
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I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
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My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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