I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Will you blow on my dice?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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