I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
