You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
