If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
