You smell like stripper and shame
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
