Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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