I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
