Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
