Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family. http://tfl.nu/yv4f
  Replies (29) Good night (5441) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties? http://tfl.nu/8a9h
  Replies (283) Good night (1157) Bad night (13329) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid? http://tfl.nu/xjdi
  Replies (15) Good night (604) Bad night (3225) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy. http://tfl.nu/2f82
  Replies (42) Good night (623) Bad night (5384) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair http://tfl.nu/0fee
  Replies (16) Good night (6206) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top? http://tfl.nu/gcls
  Replies (47) Good night (1256) Bad night (6731) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude http://tfl.nu/nnq9
  Replies (2) Good night (1396) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up? http://tfl.nu/rzhf
  Replies (3) Good night (510) Bad night (1291) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA http://tfl.nu/16eo
  Replies (2) Good night (1548) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend. http://tfl.nu/659e
  Replies (12) Good night (2198) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara. http://tfl.nu/ndct
  Replies (6) Good night (1501) Bad night (330) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ... http://tfl.nu/nz34
  Replies (5) Good night (1111) Bad night (305) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"

  (951): View more from California

  That's just where I'm at in my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!" (951): That's just where I'm at in my life. http://tfl.nu/gh6a
  Replies (10) Good night (1445) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you http://tfl.nu/altf
  Replies (5) Good night (1506) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him... http://tfl.nu/hlup
  Replies (9) Good night (1104) Bad night (349)

Randomize