I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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