your room smells of hookers.
And success
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
