i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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