I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
