xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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