problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
