Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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