I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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