Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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