why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
