I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
