problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
