Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
