i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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