worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
