Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
