i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
